Falling in love is great, but being scammed isn’t. In today’s world, looking for love online is the new normal, and while some have been lucky, others have unfortunately fallen victim to romance scams. If you’re wondering what a romance scam (or internet dating scam) is, it’s an emotionally manipulative and financially devastating form of fraud. These scammers will steal your heart - and your money. But don’t worry, at dundle, we do our fair share to combat this sort of thing, so here are some tips. Keep reading to learn what red flags to look out for, why scammers usually request gift cards, and how to protect yourself.
How Romance Scams Work
Online dating scams are quite easy to identify once you know the patterns and signs. That being said, even the wisest of us can fall prey to these cunning Casanovas. That’s why it’s important to stay vigilant.
How do these scams start? Well, first, the scammer will ‘slide into your DMs’ on dating apps like Plenty of Fish, Tinder and Bumble, or social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. They may send a friendly message or flattering comments to get your attention. These scammers usually ‘catfish’ you by using fake profiles, often posing as attractive or successful people to lure you in. If you show interest, the scammer invests a lot of time and energy into building an emotional connection, often "love-bombing" you with excessive compliments, affection, and promises of a future together. The goal is to gain your trust and affection quickly.
After a few days, weeks, or even months (yes, months) of interaction, you may believe you are in an actual romantic relationship with the scammer. He or she will use this as an opportunity to start asking you for financial help. They might claim to need money for a medical emergency, travel expenses to visit you, or a business deal gone wrong. What they’re really after, though, is your money—and more often than not, they’ll ask for it in the form of gift cards.
Why do Romance Scammers Prefer Gift Cards?
Is your online relationship suddenly asking and insisting you send them gift cards? Pause. Gift cards are often the payment method of choice for scammers.
According to our fraud team, romance scams make up 16% of the fraud reported to dundle and the cards most often requested are Steam, Apple and Neosurf. While perfectly safe products when used correctly, scammers request them because they are nearly impossible to trace, and once redeemed, the money is hard to recover. Unlike bank transfers or PayPal payments, which have fraud protection measures, gift cards are simple and anonymous. All a scammer needs is the code, and they can quickly convert it into cash or trade it for illegal goods. Scammers target individuals using convincing sob stories, like needing money for severely ill family members or romantic gestures, only to ask for gift cards under the guise of emergencies. We urge you not to send money or gift cards to people you don’t know or have never met in person.
How to Protect Yourself from Romance Fraud
The best way to protect yourself from romance scams is to stay informed and vigilant.
Here are some practical tips to avoid falling victim:
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Watch out for Red Flags: If someone you’ve only met online starts professing love too quickly, it’s a major red flag. Be cautious of people who avoid meeting in person or come up with excuses, not to video chat. Common examples are the military deployment scam or businessman abroad scam. Be especially wary of people with a constantly changing backstory.
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Never Send Money or Gift Cards: No matter how convincing the story, never send money or gift cards to someone you’ve only met online. Scammers will often make their requests seem urgent, but this is a tactic to create a sense of pressure and manipulation.
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Verify Their Story: If the person claims to be in a difficult situation, do some research. Look up their name, check their photos using Google’s reverse image search tool, and talk to someone you trust about the relationship.
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Don’t take the conversation off the app: Scammers will move quickly to get you communicating off the dating app and on a separate platform like WhatsApp. Aside from getting your phone number fast, they also may just simply want you to click another link - that link being untrustworthy or software to scam you.
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Report Suspicious Activity: If you suspect you’re being scammed, report the profile or user to the platform you’re using. You can also reach out to fraud prevention organizations like the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), Action Fraud (UK), Scamwatch.gov.au in Australia or dundle’s Customer Support.
Why dundle Cares About Romance Scams
At dundle, we unfortunately see firsthand how scammers take advantage of vulnerable individuals, particularly when it comes to romance scams and gift card fraud. Besides constantly investigating these cases and improving our services to stay ahead of scammers, we are committed to raising awareness of how these scams work. We aim to help users recognize the warning signs before they fall victim.
For example, dundle’s Risk Department continuously monitors suspicious activities, implementing specific restrictions in high-risk regions and with particular products, based on reported cases and data patterns. We are dedicated to keeping our customers safe and informed, which is why we share these articles about cybersecurity. Additionally, dundle is also a member of Merchant Risk Council (MRC), a global non-profit organization devoted to payment security and fraud prevention for eCommerce businesses.
What To Do If You Fall Victim To A Romance Scam
If you think you’ve been scammed, don’t panic. There are steps you can take against fraud. According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (U.S.), it is best to stop all contact immediately and report them straight away. If you lost money, call your bank directly to get help and report your case through your country’s government website. For example, in the U.S., you can file a report on the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center IC3. Check with your local authorities to get the advice you need for your particular situation. This goes for all sorts of popular online and offline scams, like pet scams, delivery scams or online shopping scams - if you see something, say something.
The Emotional Impact of Romance Scams
Online dating scams are devious because they hurt both your heart and your wallet. If you fall prey to a romance scam, you may feel a profound sense of betrayal, shame, and embarrassment once you realize you’ve been manipulated and the love connection you developed wasn’t real.
Falling victim to a romance scam is nothing to be ashamed of. These scams are highly sophisticated, and scammers are skilled at exploiting the emotions of their targets over time. The feelings of love, hope, and trust that are manipulated in these situations are what makes the scam so effective. But, you're not alone—romance scams happen to thousands of people each year - especially people over the age of 55. According to the Federal Trade Commission, in the United States, consumers lost about $1.14 billion to dating scams in 2023. That’s why we’re on a mission to make sure you’re protected.
Don’t let romance fraud stop you from finding love
While romance scams can be emotionally and financially devastating, you can protect yourself by staying informed and cautious when building online relationships. But this doesn’t mean you can’t find your soulmate on Bumble or Tinder, there are plenty of real and amazing people out there who are also genuinely looking for love. Just remember to trust your instincts—if something feels off, it probably is. Stay vigilant, be cautious, but have fun!
